It happened. The suitcases are packed, the car has been loaded, and your kid is officially off to college. Whether they hugged you goodbye 20 times or vanished quickly to avoid “the talk” about laundry, you’ve now joined the club of empty nesters. And the truth is, it’s a weird mix of emotions. You’re proud, a little teary-eyed, and wondering what on earth to do with yourself now that your days of cafeteria duty and curfew debates are behind you.

The good news? This chapter of your life isn’t an ending—it’s a beginning. Think of it as your chance to rediscover yourself, dust off old dreams, and maybe even eat a snack without hiding it in the pantry. Here’s how to go from feeling lost to thriving in your new normal, with a little humor and a lot of empathy along the way.

Step One: Acknowledge the Weirdness

First off, it’s okay to feel a little (or a lot) off-balance. For years, your life has revolved around school schedules, sports games, and navigating mysterious smells coming from your kid’s backpack. Now, silence. No slamming doors, no asking for money, no “I need this project glued together by tomorrow morning.”

Take a deep breath. Adjusting to this quiet doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful for your freedom—it’s just a big shift. Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling, whether that’s sadness, relief, guilt, or all three in the span of five minutes. Acknowledge it. Own it. And then start moving forward.

Step Two: Take Stock of Your New Time Wealth

The thing they don’t tell you about parenting a college student? Suddenly, you’re rich—in time. You no longer have to referee sibling arguments or Google “how to make a volcano for science class by 8 a.m.” This is YOUR time now, and the possibilities are endless.

Here are some ways to use all that extra freedom (note that binge-watching TV in pajamas with snacks still counts as a valid option occasionally):

1. Dust Off an Old Hobby

Remember that thing you used to love before your schedule was taken over by carpools and late-night trips to Walmart for poster board? Knitting, painting, gardening, writing bad poetry—it’s time to get back into it. Bonus points if you’re terrible at it; nobody’s grading your performance anymore.

And if you don’t have any past hobbies? Start experimenting. Take a pottery class, learn piano, or join a book club. If nothing else, you’ll get some funny stories out of accidentally “sculpting” what looks like an ashtray instead of a vase.

2. Travel Like They’re Paying for It

For years, maybe your vacations revolved around kid-friendly destinations, complete with endless lines for overpriced roller coasters and pizza every night. But now? Now, it’s YOUR turn, baby. Want to sip wine in Italy? Relax on a beach without sand toys hitting your shins? Go for it.

Even if a big-ticket trip isn’t in the budget, close-to-home adventures can be just as fun. Road trips, weekend getaways, or exploring cool spots in your own city can make things feel exciting again.

3. Volunteer and Connect

Feeling like you’re missing that sense of purpose? Volunteering can fill that gap while also introducing you to new people who likely aren’t asking you for “just $20 more for gas.” Whether it’s helping at an animal shelter, mentoring younger kids, or delivering meals to those in need, giving back not only keeps you busy but gives you that warm fuzzy “I’m making a difference” feeling.

Plus, it’s a great way to meet other parents who are also struggling to figure out how to work the DVR now that their tech-savvy kids are gone.

4. Start That Dream Project You’ve Put Off Forever

We all have that thing we’ve wanted to do forever. Write a novel. Open an Etsy shop selling handmade birdhouses. Start a podcast where you vent about parenting fails (because admit it, those stories are gold).

What’s been holding you back from starting? Time? You’ve got it now. Fear? Well, your kid just moved out, and if you survived that, you can handle anything.

Step Three: Invite a Little Chaos Back—on YOUR Terms

The house feels too quiet. Too neat. Too… functional. Guess what? You get to decide how to shake things up.

  • Adopt a Pet
  • Always wanted a dog but couldn’t because of your kid’s allergies or constant protests? Time to visit the shelter. Pets are great companions, and they’ll happily eat those dropped crumbs from your late-night snacks.
  • Host Game Nights or Dinner Parties
  • Just because your kid left doesn’t mean your home has to turn into a museum. Invite friends over! Have a weekly card game, wine tasting night, or DIY pizza making session.
  • Redecorate Something
  • Didn’t like your kid’s neon green bedroom walls? Guess what? That room is yours now. Turn it into a guest room, home gym, or reading nook—basically, anything that doesn’t involve empty soda cans under the bed.

Step Four: Check in on Your Marriage or Partner

If you have a partner, this is a big adjustment for them too. For years, your focus has probably been on raising the kids, but now it’s time to nurture your relationship. Make date nights a regular thing (doesn’t have to be fancy—a picnic in your backyard works). Rediscover shared interests, or find new ones. And if you’re single, lean into friendships and connections that make you feel valued.

Step Five: Stay Close (but Not too Close) to Your College Kid

You’re not just a parent anymore; you’re now a cheerleader from afar. It’s tempting to text them every hour or drive up “just to see how they’re doing,” but trust that they need space to grow.

Instead of hovering, find ways to stay connected that don’t scream “helicopter parent.” Send funny memes or care packages filled with snacks. Schedule a weekly video call (with no pressure—it’s totally fine if it lasts three minutes because they’re late for a study group).

Respect their independence, but remind them you’re always there. They might not say it, but they’ll love knowing their biggest fan is cheering them on.

Step Six: Laugh Through the Awkwardness of It All

This phase of life is full of weirdness. You’ll buy groceries for two and end up with way too much milk because you forgot your kid isn’t going through a gallon a day anymore. You’ll walk into their empty bedroom and cry, then immediately wonder why they left their laundry behind AGAIN.

It’s okay to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Humor helps. After all, parenting has always been one big mix of chaos, love, and WTF moments, and that doesn’t just stop because they’re in college.

When your kids are off to college, it’s easy to feel like you’ve handed over a huge piece of your identity. But this isn’t the end of your parenting story—it’s simply a new chapter where YOU get to be the focus.

This is your time to rediscover who you are beyond being a parent. To explore passions, make new friends, and bask in the beautifully bittersweet quiet of an empty house (at least until they text that they’re coming home for Thanksgiving with three roommates in tow).